Finding The Love of Your Life

Based on a study of the book “Song of Solomon”

By Pastor Gregory Toussaint

Chapter I

Romantic Love Is Holy

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you! Take me away with you—let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers…

(Song 1: 1-4)

Since the dawn of time, men always talked about love. Preachers have preached about love for a long time. They often say that three Greek words translate the word love in the Bible: Eros (romantic and sexual love), Philia (friendly or family love) and Agape (spiritual, unconditional love, the love of God). Most of the time, preachers talk about Agape love (89%), sometimes they preached about Philia love (10%) and very seldom about Eros love (1%).

  1. I.                 Hypocritical About Romantic Love

Because we rarely teach about romantic love in church, when some Christians start experiencing such feelings, they can feel uncomfortable. Let’s say a brother have feelings for a sister, because he feels so guilty about romantic love, he’ll tend to be hypocritical in his approach. For example, if a guy wants to tell a woman in the church that he likes her, he’s going to find a way to dress things up spiritually. He may say something like: “You know, while we were worshiping a couple of minutes ago, I was reading my Bible, and a wind suddenly blew over the Bible. I know it was the wind of the Holy Spirit because there’s no window in this place. The power of God was strong, it blew over the Bible and went straight to Genesis 2: 21 which says ‘This is the flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones’, and the Holy Spirit turned my eyes and I saw you”.

People think they got to be spiritual and downright hypocritical.Lying. But if you just like her, just tell her that you like her. Tell her “You look good baby”. But you don’t have to say “last night I saw you in a dream and Jesus took my hand and put it in your hand”. There’s nothing wrong with romantic love. People need to understand that romantic love actually comes from God.

When you see somebody, and your heart starts beating, you start sweating, you must understand there’s nothing wrong with that. The romantic feeling you have toward that person was created by God. If you want to know where romantic love comes from, you can go to Genesis. This book gives us the beginning of everything, including romantic love.


  1. II.             Man And Woman Created Together

The Bible presents two stories of creation. We find the first one in Genesis 1:27. It says:

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them”.

Now compare that verse to Genesis 2: 7.

“Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being”.

Those two accounts of creation seem to contradict one another. In fact, critics of the Bible have used these two verses to say the Bible is not the Word of God because it contradicts itself.  These two accounts in Genesis seem to report man creation differently. In Genesis 1: 27, it shows that God created man by the power of the Word. It says “God said”. In Genesis 2: 7, it seems God created man out of the dust with his hands. It says “God formed man out of the dust of the ground”. I just want to show you where romantic love comes from.

In one case, it seems that God created man and woman together. Genesis 1:27 says “male and female he created them”. But Genesis 2 says “God formed a man from the dust of the ground” and later on, when the man felt lonely, God came and created the woman.

Some people may think there is a contradiction here but there isn’t any. The key to understand what is happening here is to look at the words that are used. In Genesis 1: 27, the Bible says “God created”. Genesis 2: 7 says “And the Lord formed man”. In one case He creates, in the other case He forms. To create is to make something out of nothing. To make or form is to take something that existed already and fashion it, working on its shape and its content.

There’s a part of man that is created, and there is another part that is formed. On the day of creation, the body of man was not created. The body was formed afterwards. It was not created because something existed already, the dust. I heard the story of a scientist having an argument with God, and he said “God, anything you do I can do. You can create a man, I can do the same”. The scientist took some dust out the ground in order to create a man, but God said “Get your own dust first”.


  1. III.         Created To Be Two

As you may know it, there are two parts of you, a physical and a spiritual. First, God created the spiritual part. He created the spirit of man out of nothing. Then He formed a shape and breathed in the spirit He had previouslycreated. When the spirit has met the body, he produced a third element called the soul. So the body was formed, but the spirit was created.

You may wonder why is it important and what does it have to do with love. When Adam was formed, he was formed alone. But Adam’s spirit was created together with Eve’s. The Bible says “male and female, He created them”. So Eve was formed after Adam but she was not created after him. Her body was formed after Adam’s but her spirit was created the same time with Adam’s spirit.

What does that mean? It means that from the beginning, God has created our inner man, our spiritual or emotional part to be in relationship with somebody. It means there’s nothing wrong with the desire to have someone in your life, to be longing after somebody. That’s something natural God has put in the heart of man. It’s so natural that the only way someone could live a salutary celibate life, and be pleasing to God, would be to receive a special grace from God. You should have received the gift of celibacy. The natural You can’t do it (1 Cor. 7; Matthew 19).

God created Adam with the desire and the longing for somebody. That’s why after He created man’s spirit, He purposely formed the man alone. Because in his spirit Adam has already known what it means to be in the company of a woman, he felt lonely. Why did he feel lonely if he never knew what it means to have somebody around him? Even though he was alone in his body, Adam’s spirit was created to be with somebody. And the Lord intentionally emphasized the loneliness. The Bible says that God called Adam and gave him the responsibility to give names to the cattle, to the birds of the air, to every beast. Every time a male animal came, it came with a female partner that the Lord gave to it.

(To Be Continued)