Dating Time Is Beautiful

Dating time is one of the best in a person’s life. When your dating is absolutely beautiful and enthralling, it could be the most enchanting time in your life. However, you also have to be careful in that moment in your life. It’s a lot of excitement, a lot of fun, but it also can be dangerous.

Dating time is such a beautiful time in life that it is compared to spring. Spring is the time when everything comes to life. Usually, around March and April, all of the trees that were dry and naked during the winter would come back to life; they’d start producing fruits or renewing their leaves. Spring is that time in your life when a lot of things come to life, emotions, ideas and joy you never thought you have, suddenly all these things are birthed. In that time, everything is beautiful, birds are singing, the flowers appear…

I.          Dating should be temporary

In Songs of Solomon 2: 10-12, we read: “My beloved spoke and said to me, Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth;the season of singing has come, t he cooing of doves is heard in our land”. (New International Version)

Two things are very important in this passage. First, it says “the flowers appear”, that’s life, new emotions. Then, it says “the time of singing has come”. It’s a time of joy, of exuberance, exultation. And it says “the cooing of doves is heard in our land”. Spring is the time when birds are singing, it’s a beautiful time. So should be the dating period in your life. If you’re dating someone and it’s already a mess, what will it be when you’re married? That’s one of the signs that maybe you’re not in the right relationship.

Dating is compared to spring and spring is a season. This is to say that dating by its very nature should be temporary, like a season. Marriage is supposed to last a lifetime, not dating. Ladies, when you start dating somebody and it has been a while since you’re seeing each other, you need to sit that person down and ask him “what is your intention?” In fact, the purpose of any dating process should be a wedding at the end. Many times, when I ask some dating people about their plan, they say “we’re just dating, pastor”. Dating with no end? No plan? no purpose? Dating should be a temporary period leading to something else.

II.        Dating takes a lot of energy and time

Don’t you realize that dating takes a lot of energy? When you’re dating somebody, the first thing it takes is time. You’d be on the phone for four, five hours with that person. Even when you’re not talking to that person, even though you’re not physically with the loved one, but your soul is still with her or him. You’re at work, instead of focusing on the job, you’re smiling by yourself and people around you think you’re crazy. It takes time and it takes money. Sometimes you spend all you little monies buying gifts. So if you’re dating without purpose, it means you’re losing a lot of time and energy. Instead, you could use all this time and energy to do something else. If you could measure this time of dating, you’d realize you’re working a full time job that you’re not paid for. You’d realize that if you have used this time to study medical sciences, you would have been a doctor by now. Dating just for dating is a big mistake. That doesn’t mean you have to marry anybody you date. But you cannot waste your time dating without a goal.

III.       Time is life

They say time is money but it’s actually more than that. Time is life. Never forget this. When you give a person your time, you’re giving this person your life.  What is life? Have you ever gone to the cemetery and look at the tombstones? Emily Rose, born 1946-Died 1995. In the middle of those two periods  of time, you notice a little dash. It’s the time from the day you were born and the day you died. That’s your life. When you give someone your time, you give a part of that little dash to that person.

Your time is more than money; your time is your life (…)Time is precious. If you are somebody who has a plan, a purpose in life, you have no time to be dating losers. Before you know it, five, seven, ten have gone by and you never have the stability you wish, you never know when you will have a family, accomplish your dreams and so on. In the meantime, you could have worked on other areas in your life. I’m not saying when you are dating somebody you should put the pressure on that person and request to get married immediately, but once you’re dating, after a few months you should ask this person what his plan is. If some of you can talk about it beforehand, better. The earlier is the better. Ladies, you should be dating a man with a plan. If he has no plan, he’s not your man. Dating is not just about going to the movies and having a good time and, before you know it, you have given 5 years of your life to somebody who didn’t have a plan.

IV.       Dating is a time of emotional passion  

During the dating season, you’re experimenting a lot of things. There are two characteristics about that time. First of all, dating is a time of passion. There are two kinds of passion. First, emotional passion. Have you ever noticed that your emotions became more intense during dating time? You do everything to the extreme. You start experimenting emotions you never thought you had, at least not at that degree. Let’s say the person tells a corny joke and nobody’s laughing but you, and you’ll be laughing loudly. Your joy is extreme, but if you get hurt, it can go to the extreme too. You cry more profoundly, more profusely. You start experiencing all kinds of emotions. You tend to be oblivious to anything in life and you’re totally focused on the loved one.

In Songs 1:7, the Shulamite says: “Tell me, you whom I love, where do you graze your flock? Where do you make your flock lie down at noon? Why should I be considered a veiled woman beside the flocks of your companions?” In other words, she would say “please tell me where is Solomon cause if you don’t tell me, I’m going to take the streets like a crazy woman looking for that man because he’s all that matters in life to me”.

Therefore, the Shulamite was very fond of Solomon and Solomon was deeply in love with the Shulamite  It was in both ways. The way it should be in a relationship. In Song of Solomon 2:8-9, speaking of Solomon, the Shulamite says: “The voice of my beloved! Behold, he comes leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. My beloved is like a gazelle or a young hart. Behold, he stands behind our wall, He looks in through the windows, glancing through the lattice”. Solomon was so in love with the Shulamite he could not walk normally, he was skipping. Do you realize when you are in love, you tend to sing a lot, you smile and talk to yourself? Inside of you there is lot of emotions, it’s like everything became alive in you. You are passionate.

VI.       Dating is a time of physical passions

However, it’s not simply your emotional passions that come to life, so do your physical passions. Your senses become alive. Anybody else could touch you it doesn’t matter, but when the loved one does, you’re passing out. A girl I once knew in Chicago had a boyfriend. She told me that the guy would only call her on the phone, he’d just say hello that she would run to the bathroom. Only the voice of that man could excite her.  There is a desire to be close physically to the loved one. That physical closeness will start to arise some sexual passions.

(To Be Continued)

From “Finding the Love of Your Life” by Pastor Gregory Toussaint

Based on a study of the book “Song of Solomon”